I Work From Home, by Colin Nissan


Registered Member
Jan 25, 2017
911 OPERATOR: 911—what’s your emergency?

ROBERT: Hi, I . . . uh . . . I work from home.

OPERATOR: O.K., is anyone else there with you, sir?

ROBERT: No, I’m alone.

OPERATOR: And when’s the last time you saw someone else? Was that today?

ROBERT: Uh, my wife . . . this morning, I guess.

OPERATOR: Anyone else?

ROBERT: I don’t think so. Well, the mailman, but that was through the blinds. I don’t know if that counts.

OPERATOR: I’m afraid not. (Pause.) I’m going to ask you to open the blinds, O.K.? Let’s go ahead and let some light in.

ROBERT: How much light??

OPERATOR: Just a little is fine.

ROBERT: O.K. (Pause.) I did it. (Pause.) It’s bright. It feels so bright on my face.

OPERATOR: That’s good. That’s how it’s supposed to feel. (Pause.) I need you to tell me what you’re wearing, O.K.?

ROBERT: You know . . . just regular clothes.

OPERATOR: Outside clothes or inside clothes?

ROBERT: Hold on, I’ll check. (Pause.) Pajamas. I’m wearing my pajamas. I could swear I’d changed into regular . . . I thought these were jeans!

OPERATOR: It’s O.K., sir. Calm down..........

:smile: Read the rest of it! https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/i-work-from-home